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carolxdanvers:

the new assassin’s creed looks great

pagets

ven0moth:

if i was your boyfriend id never let you go. id sew myself onto your body. we are permanently bonded.

ven0moth

ladragonaria:

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough

ladragonaria
aestivo
skylilo

bl-ossomed:

 

when ur parents go out food shopping

image

memeousuji

santaspice:

*angles laptop away from whoever sits next to me*

annemarina

vinebox:

Narrating peoples lives, gone wrong

shouldnt

cutewizard:

My bf used all our condoms to have a water balloon fight with his friends

cutewizard

avolating:

do u ever love a celebrity so much it makes you sad

timid

basedgosh:

*pretends to understand the movie reference you just made*

basedgosh

watchog:

if you think i seem thirsty for attention

  1. i am
calakazam

dashdrive:

everyone has seen dicks they didn’t want to see

ajantas
dimwited:

✩ follow your favorite tv show ! ✩

sherlock bbc
doctor who
supernatural
teen wolf
skins
gossip girls
the walking dead
how i met your mother
pretty little liars
american horror story
the vampire diaries

dimwited:

✩ follow your favorite tv show ! ✩

dimwited
  • Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
  • Me: *turns up music*
  • Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
  • Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
  • Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
  • Me:
  • Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
  • Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
  • Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
  • Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
  • Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
  • Lady cop: I can make that happen.
  • Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
  • Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
  • Entire train: *applauds*
onlypluggedin
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